Why doesn't God answer my prayers?
Jesus said, 'Ask, and it will be given to you.' I have asked, sincerely and for good things, and nothing has changed. Either God isn't listening, or prayer doesn't work, or I'm doing something wrong.
Scripture never presents prayer as a vending machine. Jesus himself asked for the cup to pass and was told no; Paul asked three times for his thorn to be removed and was told no. God answers as a wise Father, not a genie: sometimes yes, sometimes not yet, sometimes no, because he sees what we cannot. Unanswered prayer is painful, and the Bible gives you permission to say so. But it is not evidence that God has stopped listening.
What Scripture says
7Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. 9Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11So if you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!
Jesus' promise about asking rests on the Father giving 'good things', like a father who will not give a stone instead of bread.
36Then Jesus went with His disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and He told them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee and began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. 38Then He said to them, “My soul is consumed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with Me.” 39Going a little farther, He fell facedown and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.” 40Then Jesus returned to the disciples and found them sleeping. “Were you not able to keep watch with Me for one hour?” He asked Peter. 41“Watch and pray so that you will not enter into temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” 42A second time He went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cup cannot pass unless I drink it, may Your will be done.” 43And again Jesus returned and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. 44So He left them and went away once more and prayed a third time, saying the same thing.
In Gethsemane Jesus asks three times for the cup to pass, then submits: 'not as I will, but as you will.' The perfect prayer received a no.
7or because of these surpassingly great revelations. So to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me. 10That is why, for the sake of Christ, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Paul pleads three times for his 'thorn' to be removed. God answers 'My grace is sufficient for you' instead.
2You crave what you do not have; you kill and covet, but are unable to obtain it. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3And when you do ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may squander it on your pleasures.
Sometimes we do not ask, and sometimes we ask with wrong motives.
14And this is the confidence that we have before Him: If we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we already possess what we have asked of Him.
Confidence in prayer is tied to asking 'according to his will'.
1Then Jesus told them a parable about their need to pray at all times and not lose heart: 2“In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected men. 3And there was a widow in that town who kept appealing to him, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ 4For a while he refused, but later he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect men, 5yet because this widow keeps pestering me, I will give her justice. Otherwise, she will wear me out with her perpetual requests.’” 6And the Lord said, “Listen to the words of the unjust judge. 7Will not God bring about justice for His elect who cry out to Him day and night? Will He delay in helping them? 8I tell you, He will promptly carry out justice on their behalf. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on earth?”
Jesus tells the parable of the persistent widow so that his followers will 'always pray and not lose heart'.
1How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? 2How long must I wrestle in my soul, with sorrow in my heart each day? How long will my enemy dominate me? 3Consider me and respond, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, lest I sleep in death, 4lest my enemy say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes rejoice when I fall. 5But I have trusted in Your loving devotion; my heart will rejoice in Your salvation. 6I will sing to the LORD, for He has been good to me.
'How long, O Lord?' David complains of God's silence and still ends in trust.
26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know how we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words. 27And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.
When we do not know what to pray, the Spirit intercedes for us.
The case
An honest question
Few experiences shake faith like praying earnestly for something good, such as a healing, a marriage, a child's return to faith, and watching nothing change, or watching things get worse. If that is where you are, the Bible does not tell you to pretend otherwise. David prayed, "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?" (Psalm 13:1). Bringing that complaint to God is itself an act of faith.
Prayer is a relationship, not a mechanism
Many of us quietly treat prayer as a transaction: the right words, enough faith, and enough repetition should produce the result. But Jesus framed prayer in terms of a Father and children (Matthew 7:9-11). A good father does not give his children everything they ask for, because he loves them and sees further than they do.
Tim Keller, in Prayer (2014), summarizes a classic Christian conviction: God will give us either what we ask or what we would have asked if we knew everything he knows. That is not a way of explaining away disappointment. It is trust that the One who hears us is wiser and kinder than we are.
Four kinds of answers
Scripture shows God answering prayer in several ways:
- Yes. Hannah prays for a child and receives Samuel (1 Samuel 1:27). Elijah prays and rain comes (James 5:17-18).
- Not yet. Abraham and Sarah wait decades for the promised son. The persistent widow keeps asking (Luke 18:1-8). Delays are not denials.
- No, but something better. Paul asks three times for his thorn to be removed. God says no, and gives him grace and a deeper experience of Christ's power in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
- No, and we don't know why. Jesus asks for the cup to pass from him (Matthew 26:39). The Father's answer is the cross. From the resurrection side we can see why; in Gethsemane, the agony was real.
If Jesus, praying perfectly and without sin, received a "no," then an unanswered prayer cannot mean that God has stopped loving you.
Things worth examining
Scripture does name some things that hinder prayer. These are invitations to honest reflection, not accusations:
- Motives. James says we sometimes ask "wrongly" to spend it on our own pleasures (James 4:3).
- Unconfessed sin and broken relationships. Psalm 66:18; Matthew 5:23-24; 1 Peter 3:7.
- Not asking. "You do not have, because you do not ask" (James 4:2).
- Asking for what contradicts God's will. 1 John 5:14-15 ties confidence to asking according to his will.
But be careful. Job's friends assumed his suffering proved hidden sin, and they were wrong (Job 42:7). Many unanswered prayers have nothing to do with failure on your part.
What prayer does even when the answer is no
Augustine, writing to a widow named Proba around AD 412, reflected that God does not need us to inform him of our needs. Prayer stretches our desire so that we become able to receive what he wants to give (Letter 130). Prayer changes the one who prays. In Gethsemane, Jesus went from "let this cup pass" to "your will be done" and rose to face the cross with strength.
| What we often expect | What Scripture shows |
|---|---|
| Prayer guarantees the result I want | Prayer is entrusting my desire to a wise Father |
| A "no" means God isn't listening | Jesus and Paul heard "no" and were deeply loved |
| Enough faith forces an outcome | Faith is trust in God, not in an outcome |
| Prayer only changes circumstances | Prayer changes the one who prays |
Keep praying
Jesus told the parable of the persistent widow so that his followers would "always pray and not lose heart" (Luke 18:1). When you do not know how to pray, Paul says, the Spirit himself intercedes for you "with groanings too deep for words" (Romans 8:26). Even your silence before God can be prayer.
Why it matters
The God of the Bible is not a cosmic vending machine, and that is good news. A vending machine never loves you, never weeps with you, and never gives you something better than you knew to ask for. The Father who did not spare his own Son (Romans 8:32) is the One listening to you now.
Word study
greek · “to ask, request” · James 4:3
James uses the same verb Jesus uses in 'Ask, and it will be given' (Matthew 7:7). In James 4:3 people ask and do not receive because they ask 'wrongly', to spend it on their own pleasures. The promise of asking is set within a relationship of trust and surrender, not a technique for getting what we want.
“But what about…?”
Doesn't Jesus promise that whatever I ask in faith I will receive?
Promises like Mark 11:24 must be read with the whole of Scripture, including Jesus' own unanswered request in Gethsemane and the qualifier 'according to his will' (1 John 5:14). Faith is trust in God, not confidence in a specific outcome. Jesus had perfect faith, and he still prayed 'not my will, but yours'.
Is my sin blocking my prayers?
Scripture does connect unconfessed sin and mistreatment of others with hindered prayer (Psalm 66:18; 1 Peter 3:7), so it is worth honest self-examination. But do not assume every unanswered prayer is your fault. Paul and Jesus were not answered as they asked, and that was not because of sin.
If God already knows what's best, why pray at all?
Prayer is not mainly about informing God or changing his mind. It is relationship: the way children talk with their Father. Scripture also teaches that God has chosen to work through his people's prayers (James 5:16). Prayer changes us as well as situations.
Studies show prayer doesn't heal people, don't they?
Some clinical studies of intercessory prayer have found no measurable effect. But God is not a drug whose effects can be tested under controlled conditions; a personal being who answers according to his wisdom will not perform on command. The Bible itself predicts that prayer will not work like a mechanism.
Where Christians differ
Go deeper
- book · 2014Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with GodTimothy Keller
- bookGod on Mute: Engaging the Silence of Unanswered PrayerPete Greig
- book · 2006Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference?Philip Yancey
- article · 1960The Efficacy of Prayer (in The World's Last Night and Other Essays)C. S. Lewis
- ancientLetter 130, to Proba, on prayerAugustine
Sources (2)
- Timothy Keller, Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God (2014), on God giving what we would have asked if we knew what he knows
- Augustine, Letter 130 (to Proba), on why God wants us to pray even though he knows our needs
Related questions
Where was God when I was suffering?
Your pain is real, and Scripture gives you words for it: many of the psalms are prayers by people who felt abandoned by God. The Christian answer is not a formula but a Person. In Jesus, God came into suffering, was betrayed, tortured and cried out 'why have you forsaken me?' on the cross. He was not absent from your suffering; he has been there himself, he is near the brokenhearted, and he promises that your pain will not have the last word.
Is it wrong for a Christian to have doubts?
Doubt is not the opposite of faith; unbelief is. Scripture is full of faithful people who doubted: John the Baptist in prison, Thomas after the resurrection, even some of the disciples on the mountain as they worshiped the risen Jesus. Jesus did not reject them. He met them with evidence and grace. Jude tells Christians to 'have mercy on those who doubt.' Honest questions, brought to God and investigated, can lead to a deeper, sturdier faith.
If God is all-good and all-powerful, why is there evil?
The argument assumes that a good God would never allow any evil for any reason. But a good God might allow evil if it is the cost of something very valuable, such as creatures who can freely love. Even many atheist philosophers now grant that God and evil are not logically contradictory. And Christianity does not stop at an argument: God entered our suffering in Jesus, defeated evil at the cross, and promises to end it for good.
This entry is a draft and has not yet been theologically reviewed.